It's been the best 6-9 months of complete unadulterated bliss. You've laughed, smiled, celebrated and proclaimed out loud that "Nothing has ever felt like this before". You are in love.
You are in the honeymoon phase and everything is amazing you love everything about your "booski", you love they way they look when they wake up, when they sleep, you kiss them with morning breath, you love all the perfections and imperfections of what you believe is the perfect match for you. Damn this feels good.
Now we are at the 7+ month mark... The honeymoon is officially over, now what?
When your a kid you do that cheer: "Raven & Stan sitting in the tree KISSING first comes love, then comes marriage then comes Raven with a baby carriage." How come they never said what came after that? When the real people surface. That cheer should have ended with a to be continued.
Does this stage mean you don't love this person anymore? No! It simply means that the infantile stage of the relationship is maturing. Simply speaking it means all the baby talk and lovey dovey aspects of the relationship move to the side ever so slightly and real life takes place.
Suddenly the fact that she sleeps with her mouth open and he snores like a warthog with allergies is no longer cute and adorable.
Now real life is taking place and he/she does a few things that annoy you.
You've had your first argument and one of the 2 of you was devastated if not both. You thought it was over, you couldn't believe the person who was/is so perfect is arguing with you about something so small and petty.
A few months back, anything petty was quickly something to laugh about and no one caught serious feelings. Now the person that makes your heart rate triple in beats at the sight of them is on the other end of the phone in a full blown "heated discussion" because he'd rather watch Monday night football than sit on the phone with you for 3 hours discussing your day and why your cat Skittles is jumping in the clothes hamper again. Something so small and so trivial is the tell tale sign that, real life has entered the picture and it's not leaving.
Yes this is still the same person you are in love with and no the love or the amount of love you have for this person has not decreased... The honeymoon is over... NOW WHAT?
I've compiled a small list of things that I think help post honeymoon:
- Communication~ Early on in the relationship no one is really talking about what makes you tick and what grinds your gears. Your more so discussing how much you love each other, how happy you are, how you can't live without one another etc. There comes a very critical time in that relationship where you each need to have a talk revolving around the more intimate details of your personalities. This could very well assist in those future argument/heated discussions it may even stop some before they happen
- "Me Time" ~ When I was younger and less mature I had no idea how much a person needed Me Time. I'll be the first to admit there was a time (years ago) that I was the typical chick wondering why we couldn't spend every waking moment together basking in each others aura and the love we share. The older I got the better understanding I received of just how important Me Time really is. If you suffocate your partner you suffocate your relationship and it suffers. Lots of people tend to do this early on. You spend so much time together face to face or over the phone you run out of things to talk about, surprises to give, information to share nothing is new because you gave it all away in the first few months, this is when things get stale and stagnant. It's like a kid on Christmas you have this great build up to all the wrapped presents under the tree after 15 minutes you've opened them all the novelty has worn off after 2 hours and now it's just another day. We often do the same in relationships. You have to save some things so that down the line there is still something to keep it funky fresh.
- ~The Same Things You Did To Get Them, Do To Keep Them~ How self explanatory is that one? We often forget all the things we did to get the person we constantly say we are so happy to have. After you've done these things for a few months its easy to comfortable and kind of fall off. You used to wash his clothes, fix his plate, get him a beer for the game, always get dressed up. You used to give her flowers, cards and phone calls for no reason just to say you love her, surprise her with dinners, chick flicks etc. Somewhere along the lines everyone got comfortable now it's been months since she's received flowers and months since you've had a home cooked meal. You can't forget how these things used to make the other person feel, the smile it brought to their face and the joy it brought you to see them happy. Don't start anything you aren't willing to continue but at this stage you've started it so get to the florist and get in the kitchen...
These are a just few things in my opinion that I've noticed... feel free to add .
~Smooches
<3 RandomRedz
